


Never Again

by halcyon_reaper



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-09-10 14:27:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8920615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halcyon_reaper/pseuds/halcyon_reaper
Summary: Iwaizumi Hajime has been hiding a secret from everyone, even his best friend. But all secrets reach a tipping point. 
Oikawa Tooru has known Hajime since childhood. Still, he never noticed the struggles Hajime dealt with. But then he receives an email from his best friend one day. 
And everything changes.
Just a short psychological insight into an Iwaizumi that struggles with psychotic depression, and the aftermath when Oikawa finds him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! This is my first time writing a fic. Sorry about writing something dark like this. I love Oikawa and Iwaizumi, but someone suggested I write this idea. I always felt like there needed to be more exploration of the deep friendship between those two in a platonic manner. 
> 
> Enjoy?

_Tooru, I'm sorry. I wish I didn't have to hurt you. It's not like you don't matter to me. But I just can't take it anymore, this continual darkness overtaking my mind. You always made it a bit better, but recently even you couldn't push them away. The voices. The paranoia. The ghosts that haunt me and leave me a wreck. I know they're all my own imagination, but they eat me away anyway. Their hands drag me down and leave scars all over me. I couldn't tell anyone, I knew they wouldn't believe me. Or they'd tell me that I didn't have a right to be like this, because my family is good. We have money. I don't struggle in school, I'm great at sports. I should, on all accounts, be perfect._  
_None of them see who I truly am. My flaws, how hard I work to be that "perfect". How I always fall short. They all expect me to be the best, effortlessly. Then when I fall short, they're all horrified. The voices tell me they're all liars. None of them truly want to be around me, they barely stomach me. I'm broken and useless. A pathetic excuse of a human being._  
_I think you began to see what I am. I couldn't hide it from you any longer. Or maybe it just got too bad. The closer you got to knowing what really happens to me, the worse I got, and your presence stopped healing me. How ironic, isn't it?_  
_It's not your fault. It never was. I swear. If there's nothing else I'm sure of, this I am._  
_They're coming for me. I'm so sorry._  
_Thank you for everything._  
_Goodbye._  
_Iwaizumi Hajime_

"HAJIME!"

Oikawa yelled desperately, bursting through the Iwaizumi house. No, no, no this can't be happening. Please, let his best friend just be in his room playing a game. He shoved open Hajime's door. Empty. Oikawa's heart sank. "Hajime!" he cried again, voice cracking.  
The bathroom light was on. Oikawa raised a shaking hand, pushing the door open slowly.  
He dropped to his knees. Tears fell unbidden onto the tile.

The bloodstained tile.

Oikawa pressed a hand to his mouth, covering his gasped sobs.

"Hajime... No. Why? Why didn't you ask me for help?"

He stumbled over to the prone form sprawled on the floor. God. There was so much blood. Oikawa lifted Hajime's body, pulling him into his lap.

He noticed the slightest movement of Hajime's chest. Oikawa's eyes widened. Was Hajime still...? In a flurry of movement, Oikawa grabbed the nearest cloth he could find, a discarded shirt on the floor, and tore it into strips. He bound up Hajime's wrists, talking to him the entire time.

"Hajime, I'm here, hang on please." He fumbled with his phone, jabbing the buttons for the police.

"My friend cut his wrists, but he's still breathing faintly. Please, send someone here now."

Oikawa rattled off the address and ended the call, suddenly breathless.

"Hajime, can you hear me?"

Hajime's eyelids fluttered.

"Tooru?"

His voice was a faint whisper, but Oikawa latched onto it immediately.

"Yes. Stay awake. Talk to me. Don't worry, help is coming."

"Help? Tooru, why?" Hajime's face contorted in pain. "Why won't you let me die?"

His eyes open slightly, meeting Oikawa's shocked expression.

"Only now did the shadows leave me. But they'll come back."

"I'll help you! You said I helped. We can make it work. Please, Hajime." Oikawa pleaded desperately. Tears still fell from his face, one landing on Hajime's cheek.

"But I don't know what to do." Hajime said, voice breaking. "Tooru, I don't know what to do!" His voice was fragile and desperate.

"They won't stop!"

Hajime screwed his eyes shut as tears leaked out.

"They keep hurting me. I just want it to stop."

Oikawa pulled Hajime close, hugging him as carefully as he could to avoid hurting him.

"I won't let them. I'm here now, I won't let this happen to you again."

Paramedics burst into the small room, bringing noise and chaos and forcing Oikawa out. They lifted Hajime onto a stretcher, rolled him out.

"Tooru!" Hajime cried, his arm flopping out, reaching toward Oikawa. "Don't leave me. They'll come back." Oikawa took his hand.

"I won't leave you, I promise. They won't be able to harm you. Never again."

They loaded Hajime into the ambulance, but wouldn't allow Oikawa inside. Oikawa reassured Hajime that he'd meet them at the hospital. He wouldn't be alone for long. Oikawa watched as the ambulance sped off toward the hospital.

That was the last time Tooru Oikawa saw Hajime Iwaizumi.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Do you think Iwazumi died at the end? Any people think that it was actually Oikawa who never made it to the hospital? 
> 
> Please comment and review!
> 
> Thanks again!  
> -Halcyon_Reaper


End file.
